I want a Rebbetzin conference. I think it’ll be awesome for three reasons:
1. Learning from people who have been put in a traditionally marginalized role is always radical and amazing.
2. Actually examining the roles that love and partnership play in the lives of professional people strikes me as potentially revolutionary.
3. I think it would be really fun to drink with a bunch of rabbis’ wives/husbands/spouses/partners/girlfriends/boyfriends/people-they’re-shtupping.
I wanna hear the gossip. I want to hear the stories, the hilarious “I’ll never forget that time when X giant thing went wrong…” moments that have become legendary. I want to know what has been difficult over the years, and I want to know what beautiful things they have learned. I want to hear from the spouses of Suzie’s professors at Hebrew college, because I bet some of them have a lot to say!
I bet other people have things to say too. I want to hear from people who are just dating rabbinical students and are kind of uncomfortable being with someone so Jewish. I want to hear from the people who have felt relatively unaffected by their spouses careers, because maybe there are some rabbis out there who don’t take their work home with them. (Maybe? I don’t know.)
I want to hear from the cismen who married rabbis who have heard all the boring jokes about who wears the pants. I want to hear from the queer rabbis’ spouses who feel like they need to be extra perfect when having dinner with their spouses’ colleagues. I want to hear from the people who desperately miss treyf. I want to hear from the people who are more Jewish than the rabbis they married. I want to hear from people who actually expected to marry rabbis and were fully prepared when they became rebbetzins–how on earth does that work, anyway?
Can we do this? Can we have a People Shtupping Rabbis conference? Please?