We’re proud to share with you the winning entry from JewishBoston.com’s recent dating advice writing contest. Our winner is Dan Schulman, the Massachusetts community organizer for Keshet, a Boston-based national nonprofit working for the full inclusion of LGBT Jews in all facets of Jewish life. A native New Yorker, Dan spent some years in Portland, Maine, and then volunteered with the Peace Corps. He is an avid runner, pun maker and espresso drinker, and has a passion for social justice and urban design. Dan is a Virgo, is single and is interested in finding a handsome fella to listen to “Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me!” on the weekends. Serious suitors, or those who want more information, can contact Dan directly at firstname.lastname@example.org. Dan’s prize pack for winning our first-ever advice contest included a $50 gift card to Inman Oasis, a $50 gift card to Good Vibrations and a $50 gift card to 16 Handles.
By Dan Schulman
Just shut your phone off. Go home and go to bed.
This is the No. 1 piece of advice my friends have for me about dating. Apparently, I lack sufficient self-control.
How soon do I text? Should I stick to the “rules”? After a few drinks or a moment of insecurity, we rush to touch the only thing we can when we think about the person on our mind: our cell phone. Please hide my phone anywhere else, preferably still charging to 100 percent.
“Be sure you want to call him to talk and not because you feel lonely,” they say. They know I’ll regret it in the morning; too often I have, and then I have to send the “apology text of shame.”
It’s our inability to just go home. A friend of mine got some worthy advice from a 75-year-old who had just celebrated his 50th anniversary with his sweetheart. He said something like, “Young people don’t know how to go home. You used to have natural space. There weren’t all these gadgets and social media sites getting in the way.” There’s too much contact—too soon. We agonize and analyze each word.
So is it playing hard to get? Maybe. Or perhaps it’s unplugging and living your life so there’s something new to talk about.
Do you, like Dan, have some advice, bad habits or dating challenges that others could learn from? Feel free to email me! I also had a recent request to share some online dating success stories. If you and your sweetie met through JDate and want to share your story, please let me know!